It'll Not Be Lonely This Christmas!

Guest Blog, written by community member – Clare Moller

There is a tremendous pressure at Christmas from all around us but also from ourselves to do what we're "supposed" to be doing at Christmas. From media images on Christmas adverts creating the perfect family Christmas, to friends and well, anyone we know talking about all the things they're doing, and it all sounds so great, everyone's got to be doing something.

You're not.

That pressure is immense when people ask, what are you doing? The response can be to lie, not to deliberately deceive but to stop an uncomfortable conversation. You feel embarrassed to say nothing, that there is something wrong with you. Especially when the entire world is doing something and it feels you are the only one who is not.

Well, there is great news, you are not alone, pardon the irony because well, you are!!!

The amount of people who are alone at Christmas is huge. And there is nothing wrong with that. The reasons, of course, can be negative. Let’s acknowledge that. It could be due so many reasons, endless really, including, loss of loved ones, just not having anyone there, separation from family, living far away from family etc. However, positively, it can also be you just prefer it.

However, acknowledging and accepting the negativity is needed. But, also, the positive too. Turning what can be deemed quite a negative situation into something positive. You can do what you want at Christmas. Do what makes YOU happy. After all, when you are on your own, you can do that. That is the benefits. You can get up when you want, eat what you want, watch what you want and make as many wine cocktails as you fancy! Or do nothing at all. Anything goes!

Last year, I found myself alone at Christmas. Circumstances with family and where I was living meant I was by myself. I decided to embrace it. I was living in what was a very nice house and it was to myself. I actually bought in my favourite foods, non traditional for Christmas and had some very nice wine! I checked in with friends during the day on the phone and online. But I ended up finding a very funny old film on TV and thanks to the wine, it was even funnier! I put on Christmas music while preparing my version of a Christmas dinner and I was comfortably dressed. So, I was pleased to say, the day was a roaring success. It's actually been one of my better Christmases. There was nothing bad to it or scary and as I suspected, nothing to dread.

Though this year, as Christmas comes up alone, I start to feel slightly apprehensive again, negativity will come up and I always acknowledge that. But at the same time, as soon as it comes, it goes because I know I can do it. Because I have done it.

No matter if you are alone and for whatever reasons you are alone, Christmas is a wonderful time for you too. So, enjoy it no matter what you do. Whether you decide not to acknowledge Christmas at all or you go all out, just remember, this is your day as much as anyone else's. All the negativities can be countered with positivity. Instead of seeing Christmas alone as daunting, see it as freeing. You may think family is the best place but not always. Families fight invariably at Christmas so no drama for you and definitely no mounds of clearing up! Yipee! More time on the chocolates! So do whatever makes you happy. And be safe. That is all that matters.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!!

As seen from the pictures below, outside is Christmasy but inside be what you feel!!!!

About the author: Clare comes to Pause & Breathe and has been involved in our community for the last 3 years. She has an interest in writing and was looking to share her experiences of an alternative Christmas.